


Spelling Bee

by Prackspoor



Category: Original Work
Genre: Humour, Poetry, spelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 01:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16965504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prackspoor/pseuds/Prackspoor
Summary: A lyrical reaction to commonplace spelling errors and word mix-ups in the English language. It is supposed to be funny, but really, it's pretentious and precocious in the worst ways imaginable, written on a pedestal of smugness that has yet to meet its equal. Better you scroll past this and don't click on the title above. I mean, typos cannot possibly bethatamusing, right?





	Spelling Bee

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this poem when I happened across an internet thread discussing pet peeve-typos of certain users, or things that they or someone they knew kept mixing up. Those mix-ups ranged from so-commonplace-the-correct-spelling-actually-trips-me-up-more-than-the-wrong-one to downright hilarious, and as such - being a writer, most of whom unabashedly like to poke fun at everyday mistakes and mishaps of other people - the idea for this poem was born. From there on out, it was only collecting these mistakes and arrange them in an order that loosely resembles actual poetry, but unabashedly claims to be a truly precocious piece of art.

 

 

# Spelling Bee

 

 

For all intensive purposes, to be quite pacific

I find “could of” and “should of” to be just horrific,

I could care less ‘bout the sense that somebody sees

in people doing turns of 360 degrees.

 

Irregardless, some people - they freely misspell,

“Defiantly on accident!” they would claim and tell.

Completely unphased by nonsensical bladder -

Not knowing is bad, but not caring is badder.

 

Perhaps these errors aren’t the worst you’ve seen

Per say I’ll agree - there have worser ones been.

But now that you’ve already sneaked a small peak

Of my woes with this language, I mind as well speak.

 

But even if all this has your interest peaked,

A word of due warning, it is not for the weak

and faint-hearted, for that the nonsense they utter

Would make teachers faint and linguists shutter.

 

Terrible typos, so dreadful throughout,

they might lit’rally make you ball your eyes out.

How to avoid them, you ax in despair?

How do I correctly use “they're”, “their”, and “there”?

 

Make use of a dictionary, and learn to be weary

Of spellings of words and the sense that they carry,

And soon in do-time and with tit-bits of luck,

You’ll nip all those errors right in the butt.


End file.
